How to make sure your Real Estate Agent doesn’t Kill your deal!

Agent's are supposed to protect you right?

Recently, I had a home sale ready to close that the other agent almost killed! Everything was going smoothly and we were within days of closing when we received a request from the buyer to close early. Our sellers needed to stay in the home for 2 weeks, so we negotiated an arrangment to satisfy both parties. The buyer’s real estate agent sent an addendum with the terms of the agreement to us and the title company. The contract was so vague that the title company asked me, “What does this addendum mean? It's extremely vague.” To clarify the terms of the agreement I sent an addendum clarifying the terms. In response the agent sent me an email stating, “I’m advising my client to back out of this deal, it is just too complicated and I wish they wouldn’t buy the home." Wow! Where did this come from? Sensing frustration I called immediately.

The Emotional Bomb

What happened when I called? The agent began by complaining about how the deal was too hard and we were making things too difficult by sending over the addendum. Having a client sign an addendum should have been as easy as 1,2,3 (read, sign, fax.) The agent said it was just too much work. Their frustration was a shock; especially since the agent stated that their client had seen a million properties and they were tired of showing homes. (This was an obvious exaggeration, but the agent’s exhaustion was clear.)

The agent continued, “Look I'm not emotionally attached to this deal, I just wish my buyers would back out.” I asked, “If you want them to back out simply because it is too hard for you, how are you not emotionally attached?” The silence on the other end of the phone was long and loud. I could almost hear the ‘Ohhhh' as the agent realized that their actions were based solely on emotion.

How do agents hide this from their clients? The Ocean's 11 Ruse

How is it that you don’t know when your agent is compelling your actions based on their emotions instead of representing you? It's the same tactic movie directors use to get you to side with criminals. This is The Ocean's 11 Ruse. The movie gets the audience to love the criminals and hope they get away with their criminal acts. They do this by showing characteristics of the criminals that make them attractive while minimizing their deviant behavior. You develop feelings for those you spend time with and have a relationship with. Ocean's 11 helps us have a relationship with Danny Ocean and his gang. So how did this agent use the Ocean's 11 Ruse?

This agent wasn’t about to go to their client and say, “Hey I know you finally found a house that you like, but I want you to back out. Not because it isn't a good home for you, but because I'm frustrated and offended that they didn't think my addendum was clear enough. I haven't sold a home in a year so I don’t really know what I'm doing, and my broker refuses to call them back or help me." This would be like focusing on the criminal behavior of Ocean and his gang, while emphazing the damage they were doing.

Instead the agent will use The Ocean's 11 Ruse to persuade the clients to side with them. This is exaclty what was done. The buyer became passionately mad at us and our sellers. I don’t know what story their agent told them, but our sellers could feel their anger as they moved in. Our sellers were able to calm the buyer down by helping them see the situation clearly. "Hey, that’s what real estate agents do" they said, "they fight it out for both of us. They try to get us what we both want and work out a deal."

These are good people, so what set off the emotional bomb?

To try and persuade the buyers to back out of their offer, the agent made them question the character of the sellers and the quality of the deal. When the character of the sellers is brought into question every complication seems like an intentional attack. Because the buyers trust their agent they felt the sellers were being unfair. The buyers are good people, but they have been told that they should have been given something that they didn’t get. As a result, they felt ripped off, disappointed, and felt they had been treated unfairly. (As a side note, based on the appraisal and comparables, they did get a good deal.) Even though they got a good deal they didn’t recognize it. They only saw what they were not getting. We showed the agent the good deal they were getting and they still wanted more and were upset when they didn't get it. I understand their perspective and how they feel. I've been there. I have felt that way early in my career when working with other agents. The difference is experience.

How do you avoid this scenario from happening?

Early on in my career I had the same feelings this agent was experiencing. Then one day, I was out to lunch with an exgirlfriend and she said something that has greatly impacted my life. “Dave," she said, "if you keep having the same problems with all your girlfriends, do you think the problem might be you?” She said it laughing and I laughed too, but inside I knew she was right. I had to change something. I started to work on self-improvement and learned what needed to happen.

In recent studies, being a real estate agent was found to be one of the most stressful jobs (next to air traffic controllers and doctors). So how do you lower stress and reduce the chance of having an emotional explosion? In his book, "Why Good Things Happen to Good People," Dr. Stephen Post demonstrates the efficiency of one method of stress reduction. Some people may not like this answer, they may not find it credible. That’s okay, it is something you should try and enjoy the results yourself. In the book Dr. Post talks about how studies have proven that this technique lowers stress hormones. The secret to stress reduction is: Gratitude.

It is not some over the counter drug that you can take. It is something you need to develop within yourself. Studies have shown that in addition to reducing stress, gratitude causes greater happiness in those who are actively grateful. Keeping a gratitude journal for as little as two weeks can significantly reduce stress, and increase happiness. Other studies show that people with gratitude progress towards personal goals more quickly.

How will increased gratitude affect your interaction?

Consider the following two responses to the following statement:

AGENT X - Hi, would you please have your buyer sign this addendum clarifying the terms?

AGENT Y OPTION 1 : I didn't realize the addendum was difficult to understand. Thank you for clarifying the terms of our agreement. I will reveiw it with my client.

AGENT Y OPTION 2: Ughhhh…..why are you making this so difficult? I already sent over the terms. Why are you trying to make this so complicated? I wish my buyers would just back out.

How can Gratitude influence your business environment?

Gratitude reduces stress levels.
Gratitude results in happier transactions.
Gratitude helps individuals and teams progress towards their personal goals.
Gratitude encourages agents to compassionately represent clients and solve problems for them.

Daily practice and awareness of gratitude are required to generate these results.

Starting the day off on the right foot by verbally recognizing something you are grareful for. Make a habit of it. Our team starts off every day with a gratitude circle. We each share something we are grateful for. This engrains gratitude into our hearts. The market in Utah is down 25% but our team sales are up over 40%. People know there is a different feeling in our office. There is excitement and gratitude. It definitely works. I know many other companies that practice this same philosophy and they are doing well too!

Want to have a proactive agent working for you that gets things done and doesn’t accidentally kill the deal for you? Pick an agent that practices gratitude on a daily basis. You'll be grateful you did.